Capitalism the Game

Yesterday my family decided to play the great, friendship-destroying ‘Capitalism: The Game’. It’s generally our go-to on Saturdays, which is board games night. But as we went around the board collecting properties and I missed calling ‘rent’ for the fifth time, an odd thought came to me. ‘Capitalism’ isn’t very realistic, is it? 

If only it were so easy to buy a house in real life as it is in the board game. You could just show up at an unowned property and say “I want to buy this”, and as long as you’ve got the money on hand, it’s yours. You can even build a hotel on it if you want to. There would be no need to go through all of the hoops. No need to wonder where to get conveyancing. Heck, you wouldn’t even need to get the keys, because you can’t break into houses in ‘Capitalism’. I would know. I’ve tried. Many times. At least I didn’t get sent to jail for trying it.

Maybe the next time we play I will try to treat it more realistically. I’ll play as the Banker, and when someone lands on a property I want, I will ask them to review the vendor’s statement they were given. They will probably complain that’s not how the board game works, and I’ll suggest they get some conveyancing near Malvern if they have a problem with it. We need to follow all the legal procedures. Then they’ll be so annoyed by it that the property will just go to auction and I’ll be able to buy it instead.

Personally, I think that if you go to jail in the board game you should be forced to sit in a real naughty corner for three turns, but the rest of my family weren’t too happy with that. I expect they won’t like my new realistic property buying rules either. But you can’t please everyone. I just hope my little brother Frank doesn’t throw a tantrum again, just because he has to pay me $2000 in rent.