Magical Tinting

Today we held tryouts, following the orders of Saint Illinois James, while he prepares his plan to find the Great Window Tinter. This is simply a backup, just in case our prophesied hero decides to show himself voluntarily. We don’t want to scatter glass over the streets of Melbourne unless we have to.

The tryouts didn’t go as well as we’d hoped. We had about a hundred people turn up, all claiming to be the Great Window Tinter himself. One at a time they subjected themselves to our judgement, attempting to prove themselves. Our first audition was by a man named Magic Michael, a supposed ‘real wizard’. We asked him if he could turn a regular window into something resembling commercial decorative glass and he just laughed.

“Of course I can,” he said. I have the power to transform toads into dragons, bring down meteors upon this city or teleport between worlds. But I am not here to impress you with my real magic. No, today I will do something much cooler. I will take this ordinary shard of glass and darken it several shades, proving that I am the Great Window Tinter.”

The magician then took his shard of glass and hid it behind his back. He proceeded to do a strange jig for the next five minutes, including a short time off the stage. When he returned for the closing minute, Magic Michael pulled out his shard of glass and revealed that it was indeed darker now. His performance finished, Magic Micheel bowed and awaited our response.

It took me a moment to collect myself. “I have a few notes,” I said. “Firstly, that wasn’t at all what we asked you to do. Do you have any real experience working with a commercial window tinting business from Melbourne?” After a quick shake of Magic Michael’s head, I continued. “Secondly, you clearly swapped the shard of glass for a tinted one while you were offstage. If you want to make it as a sleight of hand magician, you’ll have to get better than that.”

I felt bad saying it, but he needed to know the truth. Magic Michael has a long way to go yet. As for us, our window tinting search continues.