Orthotic Subversion

Sometimes I just don’t know what there is to live for now that the Marble Symptomatic Omniverse is going into a new era. They had the massive finale, the universe was prevented from being forced into veganism, and now…well, it feels like it’s over. A good ending, but it almost feels strange that they’re still going.

That’s money, I guess. I still remember when I saw my very first MSO film, back in school when I’d fallen down a steep bank into a bramble patch, injuring both my foot and my face, from fall and prickles. They had to take me to get children’s orthotics fitted near Cheltenham, and then it was two weeks of bed-rest on account of me developing a case of bramble fever. Also, I could really walk on my one big club foot, so I spent all day sitting in bed, watching movies. The first MSO movie, Iron Ban, was brought to me on DVD by an uncle, and I spent the whole time watching it over and over again, enraptured.

Maybe because the movie itself was also about podiatry, so it spoke to me at that low point in my life. Iron and most other metals were banned by a dystopian government, because they can sometimes cause tetanus, so everyone had to make do with non-metal objects for their daily lives. One guy making revolutionary orthaheel sandals out of aluminium suddenly has his whole life’s work ruined. It’s a special, flexible aluminium…like the foil, but stronger. So he goes underground, starts his own black market of metal-based goods like…well, foil. Watch hands. The ends of biro pens. Wire coat hangers. The caps of slightly higher-end shoelaces. 

They have to start small, and all the while, he’s forging his custom orthotics, and the greatest circulation socks known to man.

Then, when the revolution comes, all the rebels have comfy orthotics while the regime only has flouncy rubber ones. Better orthotics win the day…and a wonderful cinematic universe was born.

-Casey